Friday, March 11, 2011

the Valley of Weeping...

" When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs, where pools of blessing collect after the rains! They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem." Psalm 84:6-7 NLT

This scripture really has ministered to me over the past few days.  The first time that I read this scripture about 8 years ago, I wondered, "how can a valley of weeping become a place of refreshing?  how can this be a place of blessing?  and how in the world do you become stronger while in a valley of weeping?"  

Since then as I have gone through different periods in my life where I would find myself in the valley of weeping, I began to understand a little more about it. I discovered that when I would wallow in pity, the valley would become a pit.  But when I would begin to shift my focus on the Father during these difficult times, I found that a valley can become a place of shade, a place where things grow. 

As I have been sorting through the barrage of emotions and ups/downs with Curt's death, I have once again found myself in the Valley of Weeping. Only this time, the weeping has been at such a depth that I have never experienced before.  The anguish that one feels when a loved one dies is such that if you have never went through it, you really don't understand.  The pain that suddenly grips your heart when you have a thought of your loved one hugging you; the gaping hole that suddenly appears and threatens to swallow you whole. The agony of facing a day without your spouse.  Seeing your children missing their father...  I am discovering that this pain can sweep you under in a hurry....IF you allow it to.  

I understand about experiencing the different stages of grief. That is most necessary and there is no "set schedule", grief is as individual as the person experiencing it.  But when I find that I am not reaching out to the Father,  when I am pushing friends away, being silent - the pain intensifies. It is as though it becomes bigger and grows in strength.  But the very second that I begin to call out on Jesus, the very breath that I gasp His name - HE IS THERE! The pain begins to shrink in size and becomes something that is much more manageable and easier to walk through.  Again, I can't imagine anyone loosing a loved one without God's help to walk you through the ups and downs and extremes of grief.  I want to encourage those of you right now who are facing grief, or facing things that seem to swallow you whole, to turn to the Father. Call on Him and He will answer. He is waiting.   

So the Valley of Weeping can be a hell if I allow it to, or it can be a place like the scripture  says. a place of refreshing in the midst of pain. A place where rain pools up to nourish my parched spirit, and a place where I will be made stronger. I choose. I don't choose whether I am faced with the Valley of Weeping, but I do choose how I will walk THROUGH it.  You can do the same, praying that you will have the strength and courage to face the pain and allow His love to surround you and give you peace. 


1 comment:

  1. Again, Renae, you have touched my spirit. I remember going through those feelings after losing our babies and watching my sister and brother go through the same feelings when they lost their sons (six months apart). Your words cause my heart to go back in time and feel them again. I want to fix it for you, but I know I cannot. However, praise God, we both KNOW Who can. Thank you, Jesus. I am praying with you, Renae. I cannot imagine watching your children experience the pain that they must be feeling. But the same God who is healing you is healing them. We know from God's Word that He will work all of this together for their good.

    With love and prayers~