my kids..

I wanted to take the time to share a little about my kids in this blog.  They are my life outside of God.  I am so blessed! During this entire process with Curt, from the diagnosis to his death, they have stood by me, they have chosen to face this difficult time head on with me. I have seen my kids changed in ways that only God could have orchestrated.  Because of things in the past with Curtis, the changes that they saw in him over the last few years, made an impact on them that they will never ever forget. Going from their dad being moody and yelling, struggling with anger and rage- to being someone they could talk to at any time, who would text them to tell them he loved them, even though he knew they were in school. He became their confidant and their friend, but yet became the gentle but firm father that they needed.

Dealing with his death has been one of the hardest things they have ever done, as it has been with me too. But they are coping, they are finding ways to express the grief in mostly healthy ways.  They write on his facebook, we talk about the fun times - our trip to Disney. The dinner times, the food fights lol!  And we talk about some of the hard times too.  So yes, they are coping.  But I ask that you continue to pray for them. It is a journey for all of us. Pray that we will walk on the path in a healthy safe way and that we will always run to God and not from Him.

For those of you who haven't read this on my wall yet, here is a dream that Faith had the other night.

 "Dad came to me in a dream last night He was just talking in the kitchen but I was talking-to him and could see him as but you thought I was talking to air but he was there He said To rest easy that after seeing the glory he didn't want to come back here. He said pursue it because it's astonishing he had nothing other to do then to give God glory. He was in his black and red shirt with no glasses And was very serious. He said he loved us and then said rest easy he was fine He kept saying faith I don't feel pain. you can worship unconditionally I wouldn't ever want to come back here"

This was such a blessing for Faith and for me.  Faith really needed to have this dream. She asked God to let her dad visit her and God answered her prayers.  I pray that each of my children have some kind of experience that will give them peace like this has for Faith. I haven't had anything like this happen to me yet, but at least it seems like the bad dreams have slowed down thankfully.  But you know what, no matter if I never have something like this happen- no matter if I never have a vision of Curt in heaven, I will trust the Father. Every day, trusting as a daily decision.

Thank you God for my children and for what you are doing in our lives!
Renae