Thursday, March 17, 2011

Highs and Lows and in between...

I wanted to share some of my highs and lows this past week up through today. I know that highs and lows are expected, but the days where things level off are such a blessing. During the past week, I have experienced joy and sorrow, tears and laughter.  

First of all, here is a post that I put yesterday on f/b. I am finding that it is perfectly ok to cry one minute and laugh hilariously the next. To run away and come back in the same hour... finding out that however you experience grief, it is normal. For grief is as individual as each person is.

So in the past week, I have had the challenge of painting my bedroom. The high in that was that I did it! It really made me feel so good that I started a project and finished it.  I picked the color I wanted, and tackled the job.   The low of that project was that I couldn't ask Curtis' advice on some painting issues;  I had to go through his tools to find what I needed to paint the room and not being able to have him tell me that I did good. 

Some more highs of this past week, I have managed so far to get through work and only had to take 2 hours of time off to deal with my emotions.  Having a friend to check on me several times at work and make sure I was getting through my day.  Re-connecting with an old friend.  Another high of my week was taking Faith out and spending time with her. Seeing my kids laugh and cut up at the bowling alley, knowing Mekayla had a great time at Winterfest. These are all my high points. and oh, I can't forget this! Riding in Caleb's jeep tonight with Alex with the top off - while the sun was out it was nice, when we came home tonight it was chilly! but had never ridden in a jeep as a convertible, seeing Alex looking up at the stars was a blast! also looking forward to our ladies retreat in Gatlinburg this weekend.

My lows of the week, getting a prank phone call from a couple of kids who kept asking for Curtis then said something vulgar.  Seriously??  being overwhelmed by lack of sleep and lack of energy.  The worst low of the week was on Tuesday. I began to feel extremely irritated and there was nothing to be irritated at. The feeling progressed into anger and by the 10:00 that evening, I felt about 50 different emotions all at the same time. Felt like I was going to blow big time.  So I drove to a safe place where I knew I could park and be ok, and sobbed and screamed for a while.  Finally called a friend who prayed for me and helped me get calmed down and the peace returned.  But in the midst of the meltdown, I seriously felt as if I was going crazy. 

I am so thankful that God's grace and peace is always there when I hit my highs and lows.  When I am feeling like I can't make it through another day, I call His name and He is always there. No matter if I feel like a failure, He is telling me I can make it. There have been times this week when I felt His presence just bring a stability that carried me through the day. I know that one day the highs and lows will even out and the roller coaster will give way to a smooth ride with a few hills and small bumps, but till then, I will embrace the highs and the lows and allow my Jesus to bring me through each one. 

Thank you all so much for reading and for encouraging me in this journey. You are truly one of my highest highs.


1 comment:

  1. Bless your heart Renae. I can not believe someone would call and do such an awful thing. Amazes me as to what lengths the enemy will go to to try and break someone. Hang in there dear one. When it seems you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on because we KNOW who has the other end of it and He WILL pull you through!!