Another painful first today, and I think that I will convey this best by just writing Curtis a letter.
My dear Curtis,
Today I face the first Father's Day without you. My heart is crushed and feels like once again it has been shattered into a million pieces, although I am not sure how many more times it can feel this way. If I am feeling this way, I cannot imagine what our children are feeling and experiencing. Today I mourn and grieve for my children's father. For the man who would love them with such a huge love. For the man who would spend hours praying over them. Baby, our kids are so amazing. You have imparted in them a love and a hunger for God. The last few years of your life, you allowed God to change and mold you in such a way that it will forever be tattooed on our children's heart, that they have seen with their own eyes how a man can lay aside the things that holds him in bondage and become free. That my dear husband is a treasure that they will never forget and I will never forget.
Curtis, yes there is a hole in our hearts. Our children miss you so much, they try to be strong, but only if they could realize that it is in the tears and the letting go that they will be able to move forward but yet keep the legacy you have given them. Today is going to be hard for them, but with God's strength we will make it through. Thank you for giving me these treasures from heaven. Well, I know there is so much more that I want to say, but the words are having trouble getting from my heart to my hands.
I love you very much Curtis. Thank you for being a godly dad and for leaving a legacy. I miss you and our children miss you so very much.
Happy Father's Day